A few weeks ago I read an article about a couple that made the decision to trust God to plan their family. The article itself was about this specific couple and how that decision changed their lives. They tried to get pregnant for a while, got pregnant, then sadly miscarried. After the loss of their baby, they continued to try to get pregnant but they weren’t able to. It just didn’t happen. So, they had a heart change and started to adopt. To make this a super short story, in the article, they said that they have been changed in a way they never thought possible. That they trusted God to plan their family and the family that they have now is one that would not have come to fruition had they not followed God’s lead. This is a paraphrase of course.
I can relate to this story in many ways. Our family too, has decided to trust God in this same way. We have one child and have tried for another for years but alas, no more babies. We have talked adoption but don’t feel that is where we are being led at this time. So, we are just waiting and trusting that the Lord has a plan. This plan may be that we will be raising an only child. To us, the past few years of wanting and waiting for another seems like forever, but our timetable is always short-sided. We aren’t able to see the big picture, but to be able to trust in God’s plan for our lives is a gift. It’s a burden taken from us that we don’t deserve. However, it is still difficult at times to trust in that plan.
In the midst of trying for another child it has been easy for me to lose sight of who is in control. It is tempting to start daydreaming about babies, cute toys, soft blankies, and those teeny tiny feet instead of praying and getting lost in the Lord. Many times I can see myself falling into my identity as a mother. It’s easy to do, especially now that I am at home all day. There is much to be done and many needs to be met. It is also something that I enjoy and so getting lost in the joys of motherhood, while not a bad thing on its own, can lead down the never ending road of ‘I want more.’ By the time that rabbit trail ends, the ‘I trust God with our family’ is a distant memory.
How many times do we try to be in control of our lives? I’m not saying that you should start making babies, but that God has a plan in every aspect of our lives. When reading this article I was reminded of how much God loves me and how he has taken the time to plan my life out. Not only is there a plan, but within that plan is my identity. So many times I have lost that. There are times during the day that I need to be reminded of who I am.
The question is always, Who Am I? We could answer that question a hundred ways, but the answer really should be that I am a daughter (or son-if that is the case) of Christ. I am a wife and mother, yes, but that is part of my role. One that I enjoy but it is fleeting. Although I will always be a mother to my child, she will grow up and have her own life. If I find my identity in being her mom, what will I do when she leaves? The same question arises when my husband disappoints me or we disagree. When this happens, if my identity is in being his wife, how will I be able to handle the disappointment?
The Lord calls us His children. We can stand firm in knowing that our Heavenly Father is always looking out for us. He has molded and formed us in the womb. He has gone before us and is with us now. My ability to really understand and keep my identity in Christ isn’t as easy as identifying in my roles. We are children of the one true God but to live that out day to day is a battle. It is against what society teaches us, the advertisements, schools, even friends and family. Our identity can get lost in the thickness of living out our lives. But knowing that at the end of the day, when we come to Him and ask for forgiveness, that as His child, He has given that to us. No matter what, our Father calls us home. We can find comfort in knowing that we are loved and that the one thing that will hold steadfast in this life is Christ. He will never leave us or forsake us (Deut. 31:8).
Romans 8:16-17 “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.”
-Cassey Sandridge (I am a Christian, wife, and mother. I have been married for almost 8 years and currently stay at home with our little girl. Jesus has filled my life with love and I want to show that same love to others.)
**** After writing this post in October, we found out a few weeks later that we are expecting our second child. It was a surprise and still is. We were very much considering taking the steps towards adoption but we have put that on hold. God is good and is still continuing to work His plan in our lives. Praise the Lord for the thorns that turn into roses!